Parent Resource

How To TalkWith Your Teen

Start the conversation before there is a crisis. Stay calm, ask direct questions, listen carefully, and keep the door open.

Parent and teen having a serious conversation at a kitchen table

One calm conversation can change everything.

Talking about substance use is not one speech. It is an ongoing conversation. Your goal is not to win an argument. Your goal is to understand what is happening, keep your child safe, and get help when needed.

1

Start Calm

  • Do not begin with anger or accusations
  • Choose a private time when nobody feels rushed
  • Keep your voice steady and your body language open
“I’m not here to attack you. I’m here because I care about you.”
2

Say What You Noticed

  • Use specific examples
  • Focus on behavior, not character
  • Avoid exaggerating or calling names
“I noticed you’ve been sleeping more, pulling away, and hiding packages.”
3

Ask Open Questions

  • Let them explain in their own words
  • Ask what they think the product does
  • Do not interrupt every answer
“Can you help me understand what this is and why you’re using it?”
4

Listen First

  • Let silence happen
  • Repeat back what you heard
  • Listen for fear, shame, cravings, or withdrawal symptoms
“I hear you saying you didn’t think it was dangerous.”
5

Set Clear Boundaries

  • Be firm without humiliating them
  • Explain safety rules clearly
  • Do not ignore missing money, packages, or drug items
“I love you too much to pretend this is safe.”
6

Do Not Debate Online Claims

  • Avoid getting trapped in internet arguments
  • Focus on your child’s health and behavior
  • Bring in a medical professional when needed
“We can look at information together, but your safety comes first.”
7

Watch For Withdrawal

  • Nausea, sweating, shaking, anxiety, or insomnia
  • Strong cravings or panic when the product is removed
  • Anger or desperation around access to the product
“If stopping makes you feel sick, we need help. You do not have to handle this alone.”
8

Make A Plan

  • Call a pediatrician, counselor, or treatment line
  • Save the package or take photos
  • Follow up after the first conversation
“Tonight we are going to make a plan. Tomorrow we are going to get help.”

Additional Parent Resources

These resources offer practical guidance for talking with teens about drugs, alcohol, risk, safety, and ongoing communication.

MedlinePlus 8 tips for talking and listening to your teens about drugs and alcohol. Read Article → HealthyChildren.org American Academy of Pediatrics guidance on talking to teens about drugs and keeping the conversation going. Read Guidance → NIDA Conversation starters for parents and educators from the National Institute on Drug Abuse. View Starters →

When To Get Immediate Help

Call 911 or seek emergency care if your teen is unconscious, cannot be awakened, has slowed breathing, has a seizure, is severely confused, is hallucinating, has chest pain, or talks about harming themselves or others.

Help Is Available

Poison Control 1-800-222-1222
24/7 help for poison emergencies.
SAMHSA National Helpline 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Free, confidential treatment referral and information.
Crisis Text Line Text HOME to 741741
Free, 24/7 support for any crisis.
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline Call or text 988
Free, 24/7 emotional distress support.
Talk. Listen. Stay Present. One calm conversation can open the door.